Something That I'm Used To, Part Two

Just got off the phone with Sergeant Silta... Trying to make complete sense of our conversation, but the gist of it is I didn't like it. I went in unbiased as fuck, but he doesn't get it and that bothers me. He brought up black on black crime when the subject was police vs civilian violence and lack of trust in authority. Like I get it... We're a broken people. But I didn't call him to compare apples and oranges I was legitimately attempting to make a connection with not just an officer, but the Sergeant of my district. It failed. He repeatedly and in different ways let me know I could call him with information on drugs, drug houses, guns and shady characters, but when I asked about prevention methods, police outreach, and programs and organizations that could stem the problems before they start all he could tell me was that there were a million of them, he can't name them, but made it clear that he didn't necessarily believe in their power to change anything by telling me about his single mother childhood and the fact that he reached out to neighborhood guys for a father figure to stay out of trouble... basically saying these guys could do that if they wanted to, but they choose not to. I was inspired to reach out to the Sergeant by the fact that Tom Metzger, a notorious KKK member, gave a speech to the Nation of Islam decades ago. He didn't do it because he gives a damn about black people, but because they shared a common goal. I let the Sergeant know that I grew up with a deep dislike for police as many where I come from do, but as an adult I wanted to change that. The following is the mission statement of the Boston Police Department: The Boston Police Department is dedicated to working in partnership with the community to fight crime, reduce fear and improve the quality of life in our neighborhoods. Our Mission is Community Policing. Despite how I might feel about the police, their mission spoke to me. I want all of that. But, after the phone call I just had I don't buy it. At all. Here's a resident trying to do something, attempting to connect and help and the only resource you'll give me is the proverbial "snitching" method. I don't know who the king pin is in Boston or where the boys on the corner stash their guns. I wanted to know about what police are doing in my neighborhood, what was out there so that offenders don't re-offend, whether our authority figures were reaching out to kids to seem less threatening. I'm pretty disappointed.

Something That I'm Used To

Yesterday a 20 year old man was shot repeatedly, basically outside my door. Unfortunately this is something that I'm used to. As rough as my neighborhood can be, we have a lot of people here that care and quite a few organizations within a few blocks that have worked for the last two decades (with MUCH success) to turn things around here. As a result of yesterday's day time shooting, an emergency community meeting was called. I couldn't wait for noon today to come. Nothing gets me excited like everyday people working together to create change instead of leaving it all in the hands of people that barely acknowledge our existence. It is what I've dedicated my life to after all. I walked in to the meeting pleasantly surprised to see our police sergeant addressing my neighbors. I sat down to listen and quickly became restless as he spoke about the "good people that live here, too". I laughed inside. He let us know repeatedly that he had multiple other meetings to attend before writing a number on the white board. It was his cell phone number. I sent him a text as he walked out the door and he responded immediately and told me to call him. I let him know that I will. Let's get right into it. I'm done blaming black boys for their issues. Actually, I'm not sure I ever did. Of course, people need to take responsibility for their actions, but let me explain. I am learning to become solution oriented and not problem oriented. Trust me, I know that I am a complainer. I know all of the things that are wrong, but I don't necessarily know how to fix them. This is what I'm working on. What grinds my gears more than anything is the fact that we all too often blame people for things when they themselves are victims. Victims of a mental issue. Victims of a system. I am in no way condoning what happened yesterday. It was a tragedy. But let's talk about the reasons behind these things. On June 12th, 2007 my god brother was killed on the streets of Boston. Stabbed in the chest in Codman Square and left to die. The following day I was set to speak at the State House. I was part of a program helping underprivileged youth with the college process. I was a success story for the organization and when they found out they were going to be a part of this event, they asked me if I'd like to speak. I had no idea that tragedy would strike my family the night before. The morning I was set to go to the State House, my mom told me that I didn't have to go. I told her that I did have to go even though I'd quietly disposed of the speech I'd prepared. I had no clue what I was about to say instead, but I knew that the words I'd prepared wouldn't work anymore. When it came time for me to speak I just did it from the heart and as a result I've never written down a speech since. I didn't talk about my college experience, the struggles I went through in life before graduating high school or the people that helped me get there. I saw politicians and CEO's in the crowd, news cameras on my face and I knew it was time to take folks out of their comfort zone. I spoke about the plight of the black man. I talked about the prejudices they face more so than even I as a gay black woman (tsk tsk and tsk) and the systems that have kept them behind everyone else in this country for over 400 years. I spoke about the lack of resources for them that become even more scarce the second they get into any trouble (the trouble that a lot of them got into in the first place because of a lack of resources). I spoke about how the lack of a proper education which, correct me if I'm wrong, generally equates to "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU" when you come from a place that has more means than almost any other place in the world to educate its citizens (speaking both on the USA and MA, home to some of the greatest schools in the world). I just said everything that was on my mind. I received a standing ovation and met a few people that would change my life forever. They clapped, they whistled, they disappeared. The program that was being introduced that day, with this grand celebration at the State House, a program intended to help students like me, that come from where I'm from... still isn't doing too much of shit. Unfortunately, this is something that I'm used to. Half assed government funded bullshit just like most of the rest of it. Shall the soul of my brother and the young man that was killed yesterday forever rest in peace. May the men that killed get their lives together and use their pent up energy to do something good in the light of the terrible misdeed they committed and all of the pain that they caused. If we're going to talk good and bad, let's also speak on right and wrong and the source of what happened in both of these instances and how we need to talk about those things first. Tomorrow I'm not going to talk to Sergeant Silta about fearing for my safety, because I don't. I won't speak on needing more cameras in my neighborhood because cameras don't stop crime, they're only any good after a crime is already committed. Sergeant Silta and I are going to have a cute conversation about the plight of the black man and how we can help him. Here's to me hoping that he's open to bring solution oriented, too.

I'm back. At least for today

I feel like blogging again so I'm just going to start... let's see where it takes me this time around

Chicken and Sake

So yesterday was my best friends birthday. I was at Rems, planning to bring my ass home and workworkwork. And then I get told I'm going to Underbar...fine. Problem is they're at capacity and we can't get in. Plan B? Asian karaoke spot with private rooms and pitchers of sake. Word. They also sell food. Of course we ordered chicken. So, I'm singing my tail off (and doing a hell of a job) when I notice there's only one piece of chicken left. One of my sisters is talking to my bestie about the last of something. While they're looking at each other I slip over, still singing, and slide my hand over that last piece. I'm slipping it off the plate when suddenly my sister turns and looks at me. What I didn't know was that they were talking about the last of the sake and everyone had long ago decided they didn't want the last piece of chicken. "Bitch, nobody cares", she says to me and turns and continues talking to my bestie. Soon after, this picture was taken. That's my story. And that's also an Equali Tee. We'll touch base on that soon.

That Ish Cray

I just needed to write for a second. I'm going to get deep a little later...maybe in a few days actually lol...but right now I just needed to get a few things out of my head. People that I don't know are following the Equali Tees Twitter. That is mind boggling. I can't comprehend this. Of course it's what I've aimed for, but I never really thought of the process of it happening. It's too dope. I want to cry. Seriously. A kid just told me he'd rep my brand. He followed Equali Tees, I looked at his pics and followed back. Liked a few images and he commented on one of my pics that he'd rep for me and left his email address. Listen. Someone wants to rep my brand. Someone wants to work for me. Someone wants to be my fucking employee. What the hell?! The implications of that...if these past two months are any indication of what's to come for me I better saddle up. SOMEONE BELIEVES IN ME AND WANTS TO WORK FOR ME. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The kid has over 6000 followers. And he believes that he can sell my shit. I can't even deal. He has no clue that Equali Tees is a little woman sitting in her mini Dorchester Apartment trying to decide between going to the grocery store and watching her favorite Simpsons episode for the billionth time. I'm so not even on his level yet LOL! But I will be. With a following like that I have to be prepared in case it gets crazy. Wherever the hell Equali Tees is about to bring me in life, I'm for it. Buckle up bitches.

Great Year!

I've had such a lovely year. There has been so much reorganizing and growing happening with me this year it's ridiculous. A lot of people say "new year, new me" and as corny as it sounds it's absolutely true in my case. My entire life is about to change. I'm leaving this awful office to venture out and hopefully find my true calling in the mean time. I'm already on deck over at Boldfacers...just spoke with the Founder/Editor and chief and got put in charge of our next shoot day which happens to be January 12th. 6 shoots, 6 very different people, one day. In comparison with sitting at a desk pushing paper and entering numbers into an Excel spreadsheet all day. I'll take the former, please. And while money will be tight and life might get a little hard, all I'll have to do is look back on this day and remember the state of bliss that I was in and I think that will be enough to keep me pushing forward. It may seem crazy to think that I really believe that I could be down and out and poor and thinking about being happy will be enough for me to survive on, but if you think that's crazy for me you may not know me very well if at all. I hated what my life had turned into and at first I was devastated about leaving this place, but I realized it was solely for monetary purposes. This is a blessing in disguise for me, a new beginning and I'm taking it and running. How many people get the chance to start all over? Lots of people can, but not enough have the balls. Most of my family thinks my job is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I can't front anymore. Not only was I not making enough money here, I lost myself in a foreign world and was almost too weak to make it back to where I belong. But I woke up and I have a second chance to be myself. I'll be damned if I let it slip away. Kisses to you all and may you have a safe and lovely night :) So yeah, 2010, while you were great you're leaving soon. Suck my swagg indeed.

KAREN IN ASOS

This Asos dress as worn by Karen Blanchard of wheredidugetthat.com is the bee's knees. Look at the length! Look at the sleeves! Look at the damn dress! *sigh* LOVE



see the full post here:http://www.wheredidugetthat.com/2010/12/too-late.html